Memorial services for the LGBTQ+ community

Not every goodbye needs a hymn or a sermon.

For those of us who live outside traditional religious structures - or who simply want something more personal - a memorial service can offer a powerful, heartfelt way to honour someone’s life. These ceremonies provide space for remembrance, reflection, and celebration without the structure or language of religion.

Time in a crematorium can feel restrained and sometimes limited by the clock. A memorial service offers more time and space.

Where can a non-religious memorial take place?

The beauty of these ceremonies is that they are free from convention. You can hold them almost anywhere:

• Woodland glades or nature reserves

• Village halls or community centres

• Private homes or gardens

• Cafés, theatres, or galleries

• Or even online, bringing people together wherever they are

The venue should feel right for the person being remembered and for those who loved them.

What happens at a non-religious memorial?

There’s no set format, but here are some elements often included:

• A welcome and introduction from a celebrant or family member

• Readings – poetry, letters, song lyrics, or something written just for the day

• Personal stories – shared by family, friends, or the celebrant

• A slideshow or music that held meaning

• A moment for reflection or silence

• A symbolic act – planting a tree, lighting candles, releasing petals

• Closing words – gentle, affirming, honest

There’s no pressure to ‘perform grief’. These ceremonies are about connection, not perfection. They are spaces where love, laughter, sorrow, and memory can sit side by side.

Creating a ceremony that feels right

Together, we’ll shape something that feels true to the person being remembered. Some people want a light touch - just a few close friends, a poem, a cup of tea. Others create something bold, with performances, music, and colour.

What matters is that it reflects who they were - and offers comfort and meaning to those gathered.

If you’re thinking about a non-religious memorial, whether for now or for the future, I’m here to help. You don’t need to have it all figured out.